Welcome Back To The Conversation. The previous week flew by at lightening speed for me. I have knowledge and awareness of how planet transits (ie. Saturn and Neptune in Retrograde) and moon cycles (full moon, half moon, waxing, waning - you get it) affect human energy and rest patterns. However, I'm was not too invested in it. I think I heard a few things last week about these transits and I know which areas of life they affect or have influence over but I didn't do any deep diving research or make it important to focus on any of it.
I was simply immersed in work - work that generates income and inner-work I'm doing on me to adjust to my new life changes. I made bold decisions to get rid of people, places and things that do not serve me. Unfortunately, an ugly side of that decision has popped up to challenge me. Starting from last Sunday, within an hour of posting THIS BLOG, the hate mail came. Weird and angry people that I don't even know and personally have no dealings with, took it upon themselves to TAKE TIME and fill out my Subscriber contact form just to put fake email addresses in and write derogatory and ridiculous things in my message box. For four years, weird and angry people directed their angst towards me inside the message of my eStore - aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com Half of those people were random nuts, the other half were a mixture of my own family members and former co-workers. I went to work after I published my blog. All of the jobs I currently work are laid back jobs - by design (lol). I am not just typing this witty little blogs talking about things I don't personally believe and do OR experiences I have not had. To the contrary (in case you haven't noticed) EVERY BLOG comes from a place of introspection, past experience, what I would've done differently and what I'm glad I did. I share these things with ya'll to help you save time, ease pain, stress or anxiety and to help you design a peaceful, pleasant life despite the crazy things that happen in this world and the crazy people that reside in it. My childhood was the first place where I felt like I had to jump through hoops to receive any recognition or affection. It was all good when I was younger and developing and I relied on people who knew better than I. Once, I began making my own decisions after 18, that's when it graduated to "do it my way or else there's punishment". It's the reason why I named my comedy album "Living My Life Wrong" cause I used to joke about even when I'm right and doing the right thing, to my family or people trying to force their perspective on me - I'm wrong. People who want to "have say-so in my destiny" have come in the form of friends, lovers, family and employers. Everyone was NOT TOXIC! Everyone was not trying to control me. I just came across a few determined people who decided to abuse their power or position in my life cause THAT'S THE TYPE OF PERSON THEY ARE! It's who they chose and keep continuing to CHOSE to be. I'm a pretty chill person and I really believe in unconditional love. I made it my practice to attempt to love people like Christ loved people. BUT I also keep in mind that PEOPLE KILLED CHRIST by people-ling and doing the people thing we discussed last week. The thing where people get insecure and are aroused by envy and control. I have my prayer time with God. So one thing I can say with confidence is I was NOT born to be somebody's martyr. So as far as I'm concerned people can fuck off if they are being too unruly. I do have a habit of putting myself in other people's shoes and trying to understand them and empathize with them but once it's taken advantage of... I'm out. None of us are here to control people and that truth goes BOTH WAYS! I'm not here to control people and people are not here to control me. Lately, with past people resurfacing and more truth coming to light about what they did to hurt and slander me surfaces. I feel more of need to detach and collect myself. People have been heavily projecting for awhile now and I don't want to absorb any of that negative energy. It's a fine line to walk cause the humorist in me looks for ways to make ignorance and sad things funny. To combat this what I've been doing "to stay sane in a crazy world" is indulging in taking my time. I was staring at a calendar a few days ago, jotting in my work shifts, appointments, reminders ,etc. I realized HOW FAST 2024 is really moving! I have been enjoying the work I'm doing and getting to know a new city. I am also exhausted from constantly having to move away from trouble making people who have no regard for privacy, decency and are willing to manipulate their ties in law enforcement to get their way. It's really annoying as fuck! I've been what's considered a public figure since 2010. I'm relieved that I'm not a celebrity so there are still people and places that don't me and I can just mind my business and enjoy being a civilian. If I get any more noticeable, I'm gonna need a security team cause people crazy! I was looking at the calendar and I said to myself "Each of these boxes are a day in my life and once they are gone, they are gone. I can waste these boxes not enjoying myself and my awake hours or I can continuously carve time out to be grateful for these boxes ( days of my life) and find the joy that surrounds me during my awake hours. That's exactly what I've been doing since Father's Day. I'm not looking for acceptance. I'm not weighing myself down by what I cannot control. I've even decided to delete and move on from other points I was trying to prove because "I was right and I deserve to prove my innocence". Nope, fuck it cause no matter what people WILL people. One thing I am done with is allowing their people-ling to waste my time and energy. Energy I can get back. Time I cannot. Another thing I have been against lately is rushing/hurrying. I'm aware but have been ignoring the ways people have been trying to inject anxiety and pressure in my life. It's very hamster wheel-ish the way people who are committed "to prove to me that they are better than me" and have manipulated things cause they will not be satisfied with their own lives unless they see me sad about my own life... pitiful right? I'll keep praying for them. I'm very familiar with that feeling because it was prevalent in my childhood home. But times HAVE CHANGED and I've done my inner work to heal that. My current decision to indulge in taking my time, is creating fiction from people who refuse to let go of me and let me do what I please. Sure, if you ask them about this they will deny it wholeheartedly and suggest I'm being absurd but they will quietly continue their controlling ways. So what do I do? I remember the quote from the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" a movie I completely resonated with after my divorce. There is a scene where the main character is in Italy after packing up everything she owns, throwing it in storage and travels the world to get her happiness back. She made friends with the local Italians and they are enjoying a meal. She asks them to teach her something in Italian and they teach her "il dolce far niente" which means "The Sweetness Of Doing Nothing". It also implies "Sweet idleness" which is an Italian philosophy that simple things in life can bring contentment and satisfaction. The Italian man in the scene was telling her how Italians sometimes pity Americans cause they are always working and "striving for material things" that they are kinda dull as people. I have only been to 4 or 5 countries and I know this to be true AS an American. The second I feel outside energy trying to force me to rush or hurry for NO REASON, is the moment I began indulging in my alone time, my time off work, a break from a project I'm working on, a break from outside perspectives and opinions and just enjoy "the sweetness of doing nothing". So there is your takeaway for this week folks! Enjoy "the sweetness of doing nothing" because before you know it, the day is gone, the week is gone, the month is gone, the year is gone, the decade is gone and what did you really accomplish in all that worrying, hurrying and strife? Things have a way of working out and even when it seems like you're fucked. Trust that and remember that God loves you just as you are! Love, Your Favorite Beahvioral Analyst Comedian and Happiness Cheerleader, AaronaTheVirgo To See More of my Comedy, Musical Comedy and other content - Visit My YouTube Channel @aaronacreates If You Like This Blog, Subscribe To It and Check Out My eStore aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com
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AuthorComedian/YouTuber/Podcaster/Songwriter/Author AaronaTheVirgo sharing her humor and her life experiences. This blog is your weekly, witty Sunday inspiration to stay sane in this crazy world... and if you dare, laugh a little! Archives
November 2024
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