Aarona Creates Safe Spaces For Sanity
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Welcome Back to the conversation. Today is Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to you if you are reading this and you are a father. Also, if you are reading this and you are not a father, Happy Father's Day to the guy who helped you get here! Last week, I spoke on birth charts, birth times and purpose. Picking back up from that vibe, I wanna share some wisdom from one of the humans who created me.
My dad is a very intelligent man. He's college educated and street smart. My father probably NEVER KNEW it until about 5 or 6 years ago but he's part of the reason I spent a good 20 years of my life "looking for a 2Pac type". Part of what has kept me "sane in this crazy world" is the fact that both my parents were powerful opposites. It gave me balance. It gave me the opportunity to see life from the other side because my parents had two different upbringings - one Christian and the other atheist. The blessing of having two parents in my life was getting the opportunity to observe them and learn from them. They clashed together as a couple but the heartbreaking part about both of them was their stubbornness. If they ever listened to each other during their arguments (instead of fighting for their point of view) they would've discovered THEY WERE BOTH RIGHT (about a lot of things). My mom was right and had her reasons that made sense AND my dad was also right and made sense. Unfortunately for them, being right was not enough. A lesson I learned outside of my home when I became an adult is "It's better to be happy than right" so being understanding and responding with a loving heart can cause the greatest transformations in relationships. From observing my father, I was able to glean a few helpful life hacks because my father thrives on logic. It's a trait of his I inherited and also thrive on (hence my comedy career lol). Gem #1 I learned from my dad and still use to this day is his saying "I'm a realist not an idealist". Abraham Hicks would not be pleased to hear this statement BUT reality keeps you tapped in on what's happening now. Once you got a clear grasp on "what's happening now" THEN you can dream, visualize and hypothesize what would be better or the least resistant path. "I'm a realist and not an idealist" is a very helpful and healthy way to do business and confront tough conversations. Cause you can kid yourself into thinking things are another way but if you want to be effective it's best to see it for what it really is and decide from there if you wanna ignore it, transform it or reject it. In my early comedy days, I dealt with my share of janky promoters. Not getting paid the amount you agreed to do the show for is A VERY REAL SCENARIO. What WOULD BE IDEAL is if he overpaid you ( gave you the agreed upon amount and threw in a bonus) but trying to avoid you because he doesn't have your money is the reality. Realityis accepting whatever is happening and firmly deciding "what am I gonna do about this?" Reality is happening. You can decide to take a break from it or even decide the severity of it -cause although something IS REAL maybe is NOT that serious. Either way, when you can accept things for what they are and just say COOL and really mean it. You can handle practically anything challenge life throws at you. As a comedian, we always have to make people laugh - even if WE are in pain. It's just apart of the job description and when we get booked on shows, it's what we get paid for. Confronting reality no matter how harsh it is and deciding to laugh or have joy anyway is the most powerful way to take your sanity back in a crazy world! Gem #2 from my father is "I work too hard to have things that don't work". Both my parents worked multiple jobs. My mother was a DYI HGTV type of chick. My father was a buy it new, keep it nice and replace it with something new if it breaks type. From his perspective, I'm an earner and I go out and earn so that when something breaks, I get it fixed or get a new one. I was child (not sure what age) and some appliance broke. Then our kitchen faucet began having water pressure problems. I just remember one day my dad getting super annoyed because to him it was completely unacceptable. He didn't care WHY it broke or whether because over time things wear down. Bottom line - it didn't work and was supposed to be working, then I heard him say it for the first time "I work too hard to have things that don't work". My father will proudly tell you, he buys a new car every 6 years. The way he sees it is cars are meant to be driven and the reality is, as you drive it, it wears down and needs maintenance. In the early days of the car, its warranty covered or cheap. Then over time repairs are expensive and the money you spend on that, you could've traded for something else that works. That's his perspective so that's how he moves. I had no opinion towards it before age 17 because I didn't start working before then. I remember a year after I moved out my parents house to go to college and went to a football game. My former best friend's mom wanted to sit up close and see the marching band's performance. My best friend and I were just excited to be at the game cause the Circle City Classic games are FUN! Her mom pulled out her debit (or credit) card and said "I make good money and I pay good money to have a good time. Let's move closer". Right then and there, my dad's famous "I work too hard to have things that don't work" popped in my head and I realized both statements were the same! Both statements spoke about money being a tool and a gateway for "a better experience than what I'm having". What both statements (first introduced to me by my dad) also reminds me is life is about enjoyment just as much as it is about "obligation". Sure we work to pay bills and afford a roof over our heads but putting effort into obtaining money (however you get) would be in vain if you cannot purchase enjoyment or tools to give you a more pleasant experience than what you are having. If you make ANY money, you should always put some of it to use for your enjoyment. Now I'm sure Abraham Hicks WOULD like this part lol. The enjoyment of having money and utilizing it, attracts more of it. That's really the secret sauce of it. I've been SUPER BROKE and I've been pleasantly comfortable with money. I know firsthand that the better I feel about whatever I have (even if it's $5.00) the easier it is to acquire more AND make it stretch. "Pay yourself first" from "The Richest Man In Babylon" also taught me this and speaks to knowing you are worthy of enjoying the money you already have. So to stay sane in the materialistic stunt culture we have today, knowing simply that "you work too hard not to have things that don't work" is motivation and justification enough to spend money how you see fit cause it's your life anyways. You can't take none of it with you and if you are not getting what YOU WANT then what's the point? I'm NOT talking about being a complete squanderer. I do believe in generational wealth. Can we admit that the DECISION and the DESIRE to accumulate and possess generational wealth ALSO comes from the simple idea "I work too hard to not have things that don't work". Lol, now YOU PUT whatever parenthetical things YOU WANT cause you are in the driver seat! For example, my best friend's mom wanted "Closer Seats at a Popular Football Series" in her parenthetical. Generational wealth is just ANOTHER THING that can be acquired with money but WORTHINESS is the attitude that justifies WHY we desire/pursue the parenthetical things. You are a child of God and you are worthy. I cannot stress this enough. Last Gem from my dad, "This life moves fast Ronnie. Just yesterday I was 35." My dad was 57 and I was 30 when he told me that. I had recently gotten married on Valentine's Day. I eloped in Vegas (I highly recommend that by the way... live a little folks!) and both my family and his family felt bummed that we didn't have a wedding and let them share in our joy. My mom specifically put extra pressure on me to have a ceremony because that's the dream of every mom who has 3 daughters. Wedding Planning was one of her side hustles and she was sick with cancer so it made her sad that missed the boat seeing two daughters get married. My younger sister eloped at City Hall when she was pregnant with my niece. My older brother and older sister had not "found the one" yet. Since my mom, other female relatives I loved and my ex-husband's family wanted to see a wedding we rented out a Hilton to renew our vows and have a reception. A couple days before the reception, I was talking to my dad on our front lawn and he dropped the "life moves fast" bars. I vividly remember that day because as he was speaking to me, I considered in that moment that I was watching him "grow up" as he and my mother "watched me grow up". Life is such an interesting event that requires and even demands our participation. Even if we are just observing, essentially we are witnessing evolutions all around us. When I turned 35, the first thing I thought was "Wow that came really fast. Dad was right." Now it's the same thing at 40 and it just keeps going and going like the Energizer bunny until God says it's time to go. When you really ponder on how fast it goes, you began shifting priorities. You began carving boundaries on what is worth your time and what is not. You begin making sure you don't leave anything unsaid and making sure you cherish the moment MORE. I want to elaborate on "worthiness and cherishing the moment more". When you do this intentionally, you actually can become both "a realist and idealist". When you clearly grasp things for what they are, accept it and make adjustments from there, you can spend more time enjoying all the wonderful things you love. Cause remember being right is cool but it's better to be happy! Life moves too fast for you not to be happy or cherishing the time you do have. So get to it be "a realist and an idealist". I told ya'll my parents showed me the power of opposites. A balanced perspective ain't the only thing that can come from the power of opposites - gravity and motion come from it too! Trust the science! Love, Your Favorite Behavioral Analyst Comedian and Happiness Cheerleader AaronaTheVirgo To See More of my Comedy, Musical Comedy or Content - Check out My YouTube Channel @aaronacreates and if you like this blog, join my mailing list or support my eStore aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com
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8/11/2024 0 Comments Ep. 4 - Stop Over-ToleratingWelcome Back to the conversation. If you're an empathic person like me, you can feel things before people open their mouths. The longer you stay silent and just watch them, you can determine whether your first instincts about them are correct or whether you totally misjudged them. I mentioned in a previous blog, I've practically been an observer of people and human behavior since birth. It's been a common theme in my life.
So it's 2015 and I'm a co-host for a LA radio show at a station called DASH RADIO. It's the place where brands like "Hollywood Unlocked" began. One particular day we had this guest who was a "Human Design" expert. I forget the fellow's name but I do (OF COURSE) remember that he was a Virgo... If You Know, You Know lol. I also remember his girlfriend who accompanied him was an Aquarius! This guy made his living creating "human design charts" for people and reading their energy. This guy was the FIRST PERSON who taught me the importance of knowing your birth time and what's in your birth chart! Humans are so egotistical and stupid sometimes! I won't go back and forth about this. I've been living and observing people too long to think otherwise. I've seen WAY TOO MANY TIMES people "religious" and "non-religious" people view what should be an ALMIGHTY, OMNIPRESENT GOD as some haphazard, clumsy, creative dictator. They only view God in such a way cause it's a convenient concept that doesn't require them to do any self-reflection or be an intentional architect of their life. The saddest part is too many of these type of people exist inside churches, synagogues and other religious temples. Too many times people influence other people to diminish the power of an Almighty, Omnipresent and Infinite God to concept that yields no power whatsoever outside of an ego boost for themselves. So they dismiss any spiritual conversations as silly, psychobabble cause research and faith scare them. They don't dare lean into the theory that "maybe I am here on purpose and my existence is not a practical joke" and so many people don't lean into taking any action of discovering that purpose. My philosophy is "You are already HERE on Earth existing. There is purpose in that and power in that alone, even if you DO NOT believe in a higher power you call God. However, if you consider yourself to be a believer of an Almighty God (specifically The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob) then you have an obligation to become a collaborator with your creator because you claim to have faith in his plans for your life and his love for you. If you choose not to do that you are simply a liar about who you are and what you believe." Imagine Jesus teaching the disciples, "You will know a tree from the fruit that it bears" and people who claim to believe he existed on Earth and saved them merely did it cause he was bored and trying to be a goody two shoes and that's the furthest they take their faith. When to the contrary, that entire bible verse was about creation, intention and operation. When a thing is CREATED to do something, it must do it and produce the expected result otherwise it's a sham. An apple tree should always YIELD apples - not oranges, coconuts or simply leaves and NO FRUIT. Take this awareness a step further and imagine YOURSELF as the tree Jesus was speaking about. God the heavenly father created you and formed you in your mother's womb to fulfill a certain purpose in your lifetime AND HE GAVE YOU ALL THE TOOLS YOU NEED TO FULFILL THAT PURPOSE! When you add that awareness with historical knowledge, you begin to see and know you were created for "such a time as this" (whatever time period you exist in). Back to 2015 and this "Human Design" guy. It was actually pretty cool to see him start with all the hosts on the show and telling them information about their birth and personality while on air WITHOUT much context or back story. Cause truth is truth and something is either true for you or it isn't! There is no debate or fuzziness about whether something applies to you or not. He went down the line from our main host, to me and the other co-hosts asking only our birth day (not birthdate which includes the year) and time of birth. Then he put our answers into the software he designed and it generated a body chart. He told us what the chart revealed which included which of our chakras lead us the most - Sacral chakra, root chakra, heart chakra, third-eye chakra, etc. Then he shared with us what he information about us he picked up on energetically just from interacting with us. That was it! Nothing else. No other information was shared and we didn't give him any of our back stories. One by one, he hit the nail on the head about various things - i.e. "You are lead by your sacral chakra which means you are a very passionate person. I feel like you got lots of creativity and sexual energy but you deeply fear squandering it. This often has you keeping people at arm's length" - stuff like that. The stuff he said was either true for people or it wasn't. Nothing was forced and every time he shared what he energetically picked up, what he shared WAS confirmed by each person. When we started taking calls into the show, it got really fun. The phone lines were blowing up because people wanted to hear what he could pick up about them and whether he would be right or whether it was baloney. Every single time, with every single person he was correct. Then the show wrapped. All the co-host ended up tying up his and his girlfriend's time with our additional questions and positive feedback for his gift. When it came to me, I was floored by what he picked up on while we were on-air. I never met this man in my life and I definitely don't discuss with people or (at that time) even have the ability to express any of the things he correctly saw about me. I will ALWAYS remember asking about my dating life and what he saw at the time. He looked at me and asked, "Truthfully, when you met that guy, what was your first impression of him? The first instinct we get from people is always right, whether we acknowledge it our not because our soul is always informing us on whether we are safe or in danger." DEEP RIGHT? Lol. I paused and thought about it. Then I said, "Well, when I first met him, he was smoking a cigarette and I hate cigarettes. He mentioned I reminded him of someone after hitting on me in a crowded room". Then he said, "But what was your initial FEELING about him? He's a bad boy... right? Over time he showed you how bad he was... right? When we don't recognize and accept those early warnings it could cost us." Then he stared at me with the most (I'm dead serious and I need you to understand this face) and said, "Sometimes we get the warning so it doesn't cost us our life. You dig what I'm saying? Cause I see it and I get it. It was fun! It was seductive and ya'll had serious chemistry but after that? After all the fun and the seduction and the "I'll give you this if you do that" that ya'll had going on (his words not mine and REMEMBER I didn't reveal too much about the guy. I didn't mention nothing but his zodiac sign and how long I had been seeing him) he's still a bad boy and it can cost you, your life". I nodded in agreement with him but then I said, "Part of what attracts me to him and keeps me wanting connection with him is because he's the only guy who made a real effort to really get to know me. People usually like what they see in me but they don't really try to get to know me. Then he said, "WHY YOU TOLERATING?" Right at that moment, his girlfriend who had been standing beside him the entire time, chuckled and shook her head as if she was silently thinking "Poor baby. She will learn one of these days." He continued, "You didn't come into this life tolerate. You don't entertain relationships to tolerate a person. Think of how it even sounds. "I enjoy some of what I'm getting when I'm with this person - TOLERATING vs "I just enjoy this person and how they treat me. Don't TOLERATE just flow." Human Design Guy and his girlfriend left. Later that night, I called my mom asking all kinds of questions about my birth and birth time because I wanted to begin "cracking the code" of who I am and who God created me to be and what type of person would that really require in my life so I can "stop tolerating". That conversation with my mom was one of the most eye-opening conversations I ever had with her. It gave me deeper insight into myself as a person and who I was a child and WHY I operated the way I did. It also gave me a deeper insight to her as a woman and the entire process of motherhood. The things she recalled and confirmed were extraordinary. Just to get a balanced perspective, I called my dad and asked the same questions. My dad was a different experience. First of all, he seemed more annoyed by my questions than my mother but as he begin recalling the day I was born from his perspective, he added a more comedic point of view. I was my mother's 3rd child and my father's second child. My father recalled the events of the day and recalled the similar time of day as my mom. Both of their accounts deviated by one hour and both accounts include my dad being late to the hospital because he was somewhere golfing when she went into labor. My dad's accounts included lots of comparisons to my older sister's birth cause she was his first child and according to him and my mother, her birth was strenuous. So his perspective as man (who can't give birth and feels helpless when women go into labor) comparing the two events and having a revelation of his own of what that meant as younger man was pure comedy. I get my humor from my dad. He's a character. Fast Forward to June 2024. Next Sunday is Father's Day and I just got inspired to make next weeks post about "Cool or Funny Things I Learned From My Father". FIRST, here is your takeaway for this week to help YOU stay sane in this crazy world, "Real love involves tolerating but don't over-tolerate just to keep people in your life". I'm in my Larry David bag right now so I gotta point out that tolerating and OVER-tolerating is indeed a thing. "TOLERATING" is something we have to do to operate, stay sane and be productive in life. Tolerating is understanding that there is a such thing as "societal norms" and to be considered "normal" there are certain ways you need to behave so people "accept you" and not think you are crazy. But "Over-tolerating" is going all the way OUT OF YOUR WAY to make someone else happy or pleased with you, while making YOURSELF UNHAPPY. "Over-tolerating" is dealing with a person who thinks they are the prize and you have nothing of value at all if they don't say so or think so. "Over-tolerating" IS REALLY what "Human Design Guy" was trying to get me to avoid. Thanks, Human Design Guy! We have to share this world we live in with others. Regardless of how rich someone else maybe, nobody OWNS EARTH. Yeah, yeah, yeah nefarious rich people do conspire towards "world domination" but they like all of us face the reality that they can all drop dead tomorrow and someone else has to pick up the baton where they left off, and while they are doing that, there are just as many people who work towards love and spiritual enlightenment so in the meantime we have to co-exist. Tolerance is essential to co-existing. I wrote a tweet yesterday ( @aaronacreates on the Twitter/X platform - shameless plug) about Gay Pride Month and how extremists within that community abuse people's compassion and tolerance. The tweet, if you missed it, was "Aye, I know it's Pride Month but ya'll gotta chill with the bullying. If any other group of people rallied together to name a month after one of the 7 deadly sins, ya'll would laugh them off the planet... ie- FAT PEOPLE get together every year to celebrate SLOTH MONTH. Some of the SAME PEOPLE (meaning extremists from the LBGTQ+ community who counter bully people by labeling them as homophobic when they are really indifferent or try to force people to be into things they just aren't into otherwise they'll scream discrimination. MEANWHILE, they are constantly begging people to approve and affirm them while being the EXACT same person they don't want others to be... I'm SOLELY talking bout those extremists people) doing the most would be telling all them fat people celebrating SLOTH MONTH to take their fat asses to the gym. So a person's "preference" isn't really THAT respected and we all need to stop playing God. It's vulgar human behavior no matter what you believe, identify as or what size you are. Tolerance is essential to co-existing because NOBODY has the right to control ANYBODY, especially if they are above 18 years of age. Even the people who love to use the Bible as a crutch to persecute others, fail to read Matthew 7:4-5, where Jesus specifically teaches about the dishonorable trait of being a hypocrite cause you cannot mind your own business and let God reign over everything. I am a person who wants ALL PEOPLE to LOVE THEMSELVES properly and be LOVED ON by WHOEVER they love. I don't care or have any major opinions on WHO people chose as long as their behavior is not illegal. We came into this world because of LOVE. Biblically speaking, God loved humans ( his creation) so much he continues to preserve them and forgive them without keeping record of wrong. God's love for humans is so profound, The Book of Hebrews in the New Testament tells us it makes the angels a little jealous. Lucifer really took his jealousy too far - but that's another story for another time. Non-Biblically speaking, you were not aborted because somebody (even if it was not your mother or father) thought you deserved an opportunity to exist. Period! Furthermore, when does it ever really matter what's going on in somebody's bedroom IF YOU WERE NOT INVITED? (shrugging emoji) So spending too much energy on this ONE area of life bores me. Once again, tolerance is essential to co-existing. People encounter countless experiences that shape them. As lovers, we enter their life with acceptance or rejection. We hold specific standards for ourselves, our lovers, our friends and our family and we tolerate them based on what we have the capacity to accept. What we cannot accept, we reject. When we love someone, based on our maturity, we accept and tolerate certain things. We do this because at some point we decided life is more fulfilling, healthy and harmonious with them in it. When we decided our lives are better without them in it, we reject them. To keep people, places or things in our life that we reject because we don't value our own boundaries and standards is us over-tolerating and we should stop. When we keep people, places and things in our life that we have outgrown but we refuse to let them go because we prioritize someone else's happiness over our own OR someone else's desire for our life over our own; we are over-tolerating and should stop. Over-tolerating is crossing the boundary of the State of Tolerance and entering into the State of Misery and then justifying that move to protect someone's ego. I'mma hit ya'll with the Nancy Reagan, when it comes to over-tolerating "Just Say No". (Shout out to everybody born before or during The Reagan Era). Love, Your Favorite Behavioral Analyst Comedian and Happiness Cheerleader, AaronaTheVirgo To See MORE of my comedy, musical comedy or other content, visit My YouTube Channel @aaronacreates and If you like this blog, by all means SUBSCRIBE and check out my eStore aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com 8/11/2024 0 Comments Ep. 3 - Whose Dream Is It Anyways?Welcome Back To The Conversation. Randomly "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day is playing in my head at this moment. When you live in America, you hear the term "The American Dream" a zillion times throughout your life. When you're a kid in America, adults will constantly say you can be whatever you want to be and there is a big world waiting for you.
Then one day you grow up and most days it feels like people blew smoke up your ass. Cause in reality, you can have the big dreams but without supportive people in your life and protection from predators, you'll have to change your big plans. Yet, you'll take heart at the challenge and dig your heels into your big dreams. As you mature, you'll believe that challenges are par for the course. However, what happens if you have more than one dream? What happens when you are pressured to sacrifice a dream just because someone else wants power or control of your free will? What happens when people conspire to make you feel unworthy of your dreams? What part of the game is that? When we are young, we are told the American dream is the dream of the Founding Fathers of this great country. We are told The American Dream is the dream of upward mobility, financial freedom, taxation with representation, a family of your own and a home of your own with a white picket fence. But what if you want a beach house or a condo inside a highrise building? What if you dreamt of being a homemaker and an entrepreneur? What if you wanted to travel 1/3 of the year and then settle at home to enjoy local activities? My point is, "Whose Dream Is The So-Called American Dream Anyways?'. People are emotional creatures and emotions change like the tides of the ocean. You may imagine your life would go one way earlier in life. Then one day you meet the real reason of why you were drawn to certain interests all your life. As a kid, I used to love watching comedy movies. I also loved watching standup comedy specials on NBC. As HBO and Showtime came along airing standup specials, I got into those shows. Then Comedy Central came along and now it is Netflix airing the latest comedy specials. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an obstetrician like Dr. Huxtable on The Cosby Show. Then I got to high school, cut my first frog in biology class and realized "nah" I don't really want to deal with blood or organs as an occupation. I was on the honor roll for my entire grade school and high school "career" with teachers for parents. When your mom and dad are teachers, there becomes extra pressure to choose a career that will make them proud and look good to their co-workers. My mom had 2 master's degrees so I figured becoming Dr. So-and-so would be a good path. I chose Psychology cause I enjoyed people watching since I was a little girl and I wanted insight on how to deal with people. I took Psychology classes in high school and entered college with it as my major. Fun fact nobody knows about me - I always made As in my English classes and I got published in an anthology for my poems at 16, yet I almost was passed over getting selected into the college of my choice due to a weak admission essay. It was the first time in my life where I was told and shown that I don't express my feelings well. My university bluntly told me, they could've done without my essay and selected me based off the strength of my grades and academic resume. This lead me on a quest to express myself more. I got used to keeping my feelings to myself cause all we ever did in my house growing up was yell at each other to get our points across. If someone was more passionate about their point than you, good luck on finishing your sentence! Finding ways to express myself better lead me to feverishly creating poetry and attending poetry slams to perform it. This led to songwriting and within 2 weeks of college, I dropped my Psychology major and switched to Broadcast Journalism. I still feel like it was one of the best decisions I made at that time in my life. It gave me a distinct path to pursue and try things I always thought was cool. I began writing for the school newspaper, The Daily Illini. I began DJing my own radio show. I began taking film classes and learning auteur theory. I began taking photography classes and shooting music videos! The kid in me was the happiest person on Earth! My parents were not so happy. They only cared about me having a job I had to report to daily and clock-in. Happiness was nowhere in that equation. I did what I could in that lifestyle for as long as I could then depression ended all that. Then I became a robot - just going through the motions. Then comedy came calling and I latched on to it with everything I had. It changed my life for the better. So much better my life flew by! Time flies when you're having fun. When you're a woman who always wanted your own happy family, your biological starts ticking. You turn the volume down a bit and start analyzing the fun you're having. If you have the wrong people around you, they will discourage you. People have attempted to discourage me from every dream I had. I had to become comfortable with my dreams not mirroring anyone else's dreams. I had to become confident that I was worthy of even having my own dreams. Building this confidence has taken DECADES ya'll. So after doing the work, my takeaway for you guys to stay sane in this crazy world is to remember the television show "Who's Line Is It Anyway". Some of you may remember the show, some may not. It starred Drew Carey and Wayne Brady and it was a series of improv games they performed live. The goal of the games were to keep the scenes going and always have something cohesive or comical to say before the scene was called to end. When it comes to your dreams, sometimes you got to make it up! No one can envision the life you want to live in the way you can. You know your likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, guilty pleasures and all the intricate ingredients that can cook up a delicious dream. You have to know you were put on this planet for the purpose of discovering your dreams and pursuing them nearly to the point of reckless abandonment. None of us make it out of this life alive! Whatever dream you have, you owe it to yourself to at least try for it. You owe it to yourself to feel worthy of your dreams. The world is crazy and if you let it, it will drag you to crazy town with it. If you don't protect your dreams, the world will have you chasing everything but the stuff YOU WANT. The day you decide chasing everything but what you truly want in life is UNACCEPTABLE will become the first day you'll truly feel free as a human being. Don't let people bull-dooze you for their approval. Jesus already died for you and me while we were busy being selfish pricks and clueless wanderers. If Jesus already approves you and me and deems us worthy to live life more abundantly and half of us don't even think he is real, then what do we look like stressing ourselves out over fake love and oppressive people? We look like foolish people when we self-sacrifice for approval. Give yourself a break! You are worthy. You always have been whether you knew it or believed it. You are so worthy that thousands of years before you got here, a man made the ultimate sacrifice so you would never have to be a slave to anyone's standards. Breathe easy and if people keep disrespecting your boundaries, tell them to fuck off...in Christian language, that’s called rebuking them and it's totally OK! Smile :) -Love, Your Favorite Behavioral Analyst Comedian and Happiness Cheerleader AaronaTheVirgo To see MORE of my comedy, musical or other content - Subscribe to My YouTube Channel @aaronacreates If you like this blog, subscribe to it and check out my eStore - aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com 8/11/2024 0 Comments Ep. 2 - You Matter Too!Welcome back to the conversation. For the past week, I have just been purging things that are no longer necessary. Normally, when it comes to clothing I'm pretty good at this. I look at my closet and if there is a garment or something I have not worn in 6 months to a year, I throw it in a bag and donate it to Goodwill. I've had that habit since I was a college student.
But what about social media? As we continue into the future, AI technology and social media networks will continue to evolve and be apart of our daily life. I am from the generation that introduced the world wide web and social messaging. I still remember and have experience of complete social engagement offline. I notice newer generations do almost all of their social engagement ONLINE outside of personal calls, texts and face to face convos. This has created a level of importance to "social media" identity my generation never had to deal with. As long as we knew who we were AND what we were about we didn't care as much about what was happening online. It was not our entire world and it definitely wasn't the end of our worlds if something happened online that didn't go in our favor. In this era, your social media profile is THE BIBLE to how you should be perceived publicly in the world. People don't even care if some of your posts and content include gags. What you see is what you get and people are free to just take it and run with it. It began when baby boomers and beyond hopped on to Facebook. Suddenly, being fake or presenting a "well-manicured" profile presentation became a necessity cause you always conduct yourself a certain way around your parents or other people's parents. When it was "just us kids" having a laugh, creating inside jokes within our friend groups or embracing our bodies and individuality it was BETTER. Then, social media got less "social" and more corporate because people started seeing the ways to make money with it. I'm all for capitalism and enterprise 100%! However, the LOVE of money has sent social media to the pits. I blame the Baby Boomers because that generation didn't grow up on video games and virtual reality gadgets. The Baby Boomer generation definitely gave us one of the best music eras ever BUT it was largely because they could not separate reality from fantasy. Which is wild and ironic because LSD and other drugs were popularized in their era. I'm compassionate because they had lots of heavy stuff happening in their developmental years. They were the generation that saw assassinations happen like wrestling matches - Malcolm X, MLK, John F Kennedy and Robert Kennedy. Imagine growing up during a time your President got his face shot off on TELEVISION...yikes! So it's understandable why that generation journeyed through life afraid of everything and inflicted fear onto their children. "I'll never forget when my dad first found my FaceBook page (which was a platform that started for college students only) and criticized my posts because 'I'll never keep a job if they see it' and I told him to the contrary "It gets me the jobs I want! Only jobs I don't want would care THAT much about my social media". It was a very true and bold statement! I met casting directors via my original facebook page. My Twitter account "trending topics" comments led to work referrals for stand up comedy gigs and writing gigs. I even saw my peers getting booked for things solely based off their funny content and perspective online. Like that year (2016 I think) Leslie Jones got HIRED to tweet her reactions to the Olympics in real time. She did it for years prior just cause she liked the Olympics and all of the comedians live tweet and discuss their fave shows. She was killing it on the standup circuit and NBC loved her tweets then BOOM. She also became an SNL cast member. That's just one example, I had a colleague Johnny Loquasto who went on tour to host bands and events based off his twitter account. Now things have changed! Gen Z and beyond do not know of any other reality where people ARE NOT posting their highlight reels and "well-manicured" profile presentations. So Gen-Zers trap themselves into living up to everyone else's fantasies and expectations. NOW, your social media profile can mean life or death for you because if something happens to you and you were not posting consistently ANYBODY can pretend to be an insider and "have an inside scoop of what really happened" and it doesn't have to be true. Now salacious WINS! If it's sounds juicy, who cares if it's true, people will make it seem true - and they got the technology to do it! Now employers are all online. Every major company you can think of at least has a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or LinkedIn. Now your social media can't afford to be non-manicured UNLESS you are rich and don't need these companies money. Now more than ever this is pressure TO CARE about what you present online. Long gone are the days when you could enjoy random free-for-alls online because you had YOUR REAL LIFE and YOUR ONLINE ACCOUNT to HAVE FUN. Now, the creeps are more rampant online and they have taken the fun and replaced it with danger and evil recklessness. Now everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law or conference room you don't even have to be in! So today's takeaway to stay sane in this crazy world is remembering who you are and the fact that your life matters. If you want to have fun in this crazy world by all means do so as much as you can without hurting anyone or hurting yourself. Part of staying sane, is staying safe! When you feel confident that what you are doing is not causing harm to you or anyone else you can relax more. Information is power and so is energy. Sometimes in our efforts to be seen and heard by the right people, we end up inviting all the wrong people to our online "Ted Talks" and slideshows. You cannot control what people do with your posts but you can control how much information you give them and how much energy you waste with them. I've decided to purge social media posts like I give away clothes to Goodwill lol. Social media brought some uncanny changes to my life, finances and work environments. As much as I hated and complained about the obstacles that were formed, I also had to take accountability for the role I played in it. I had to realize I had a conscious and an unconscious role I played. I went through a period of time where I survived brushes with death and used social media as a way to combat people trying to rewrite my life story and identity. I combatted it for almost 7 years and realized my last 2 years online, I posted mostly as a trauma response. It served a purpose for a period of time but it also had negative affects that were not so helpful. Part of my healing was in getting back to why I even used social media in the first place. It was a digital town square to have a laugh with people, discuss politics, music and social trends, drop my 2 cents and chuck the deuces. I had to realize as painful as some of my experiences were... NOBODY CARES! I'm not saying that in a woe is me kinda way either. It's just a fact that NOBODY CARES they are too busy caring about what's going on in their lives and healing or avoiding their own pain. I never went through life expecting people to be responsible for me - not even my parents. So there is just no reason to have a presentation of content that doesn't clearly represent who I am and who I wanna be. So my solution was simple. Now, I go through all my profiles and ask " Do I still need this post?" "Is this post a real representation of how I am?" "Does this post clearly promote my business?" "Do I really need to do this much explaining in this caption?" The second the answer is "No", I delete. Good Riddance. Whoever coined the term, "The Art of GoodBye" was a genius. There is indeed an art to it. Letting go of anything because you realized/decided it is impeding progress and happiness is a beautiful feeling. In fact it feels so beautiful, it makes you wonder why do we bog ourselves down with so many mundane, non-purposeful things? If we're truthful, it's usually because we are trying to uphold someone else's expectation of us. What is your expectation of YOU? Why is YOUR EXPECTATION OF YOU any less important or urgent as other expectations? Give yourself a break. Give yourself peace. Give more love to yourself in whatever way you can cause you matter. Everything WILL go on without you. However, without you how much can it really matter? I'll leave ya'll with this. A former college friend of mine used to have this saying that I thought was hilarious but irresponsible when we met. He was late to EVERYTHING! When he showed up he would shrug and say, "Nothing starts until I get there". I would argue that lateness was disrespectful to other people's time. He would counter argue, "if something is going on and I play no major role in it OR it was gonna happen anyway with or without me being there, then the part of the event/experience I was meant to partake in doesn't begin until I get there". Nearly 20 years later, I totally agree with his point. The world still spins whether we do something or not and NOTHING WE DO can interfere with this action. No matter how crazy this world gets or your life gets, there is only one you and you deserve love and there is an unconditional supply of it every time you take a breath or see a new day cause God loves you. -Love, Your Favorite Behavioral Analyst Comedian and Happiness Cheerleader, AaronaTheVirgo To See Comedy, Musical or MORE creative content from me, Subscribe to My YouTube Channel @aaronacreates If you like this blog, Join my community by subscribing and also check out my eStore -aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com Now where were we? Ah yes, yesterday while I was on Twitter, now called X, I had an epiphany about my own relationships with men and women. Before comedy, I was always slow to communicate or interact with new people. I'm still that way most of time but now I act on impulse when I get a good vibe much faster than my earlier years.
I have two sisters. One has been my arch-enemy since I was 6 months old according to my baby book. When my mom wrote my first word, she made very detailed and excited notes that I began speaking with whole phrases. She wrote I never spoke "baby talk". My very first sentence was "Where's Aaron?". Aaron is my father's name. At 6 months old, I had already began engaging with people based upon their behavioral patterns. At 6 months old, I knew "Aaron" was a guy that was around and obviously knew my mother and I. However, for some reason I didn't identify him as father/dad/da-da/daddy. As I got to know more father more, that's when my awareness grew that he was my biological dad. I never identified him as my caretaker though. It took years of observing him to know and understand my dad was 27-year old father who worked hard and desired a busy social life. He was often absent due to either his work or his social activities. That pattern went on for 2 decades. It was always a special event or reason for my dad to just be hanging out with us if he wasn't helping with homework or oversee us cleaning around the house. At 6 months, I also recognized my older sister as mean and bothersome. Someone who rarely genuinely spoke to edify someone. She complained a lot and my father's nickname for her was "Grouchy". He gave us all nicknames from various cartoons. She definitely could have been Grouchy Smurf's twin. These early beginnings of me understanding and observing my family dynamic, led me to be very curious and observant of people in the world at large. I always thought it was weird I didn't say "where's daddy?" and made a conscious choice to use his government name (lol). Now that I'm a fully grown adult and know more of my family's business, I realized I called a spade a spade at 6 months. I'm ahead of my time for sure. My second sentence was "Shut Up Tracy". Tracy is the middle name of my older sister. We were informal in my house. Everyone was called by either their middle name or nickname. We rarely ever called each other by our first names - except me calling my dad, Aaron. The girls I ended up hanging out with had the exact same interests as me which is pretty natural for most people. In my early life basketball was a huge interest. When I hung out with girls, sometimes we talked stats about players but MOSTLY we talked about our favorite NBA players because we thought they were cute - the exception was Michael Jordan. He was everyone's favorite player because at the time he was the best player the NBA had ever seen and played for our home team. When I hung out with boys, it was usually because we laughed frequently or had some time of good time previously - i.e. We played basketball or running bases together and it was fun, competitive and had lots of funny banter. With the boys, we frequently talked about the stats, the plays, whose playing style they most wanted to emulate and NO TALK about which girls they thought were cute until MUCH LATER. These early years showed me something I didn't know would be an important trend when we were all adults. It showed me the difference in how men and women mentally sort what's important. When I think back on many conversations I've held with males and females throughout life and conversations I've observed in passing. Men are really wired to "get to the point" in mostly all areas of their lives EXCEPT their feelings. It just takes men longer to really process what they want and WHY they want it. Women on the other hand lead with their feelings. Even if she is a cold and calculating woman, there is an ocean of emotion laying dormant under that facade that she clings tightly to and responds to her environment. Women being perceived as the softer species are welcomed and allowed to respond to life from a place of emotion. Men were not previously encouraged to do so and they got the memo early that life still has to go on outside of what they feel. It leads them to put more time and energy into being productive and goal-oriented. If you catch a guy early enough in his dating experience, he could simply want something just because it feels good and they said yes. He didn't really put much thought into WHY he wanted it outside of the fact that something made him feel good and he avoided rejection (their worse fear). So a guy is like to stay on one path because it's comfortable and it fulfills a need. He's good after that. Women are not so clear cut in dating. I believe all people crave validation in their dating life, yet I think women spend more time focused on "being right" in the choices they make. Women do this because they wanna go back to some woman group or maybe just their mom, aunts and other relatives and feel like they have "a good life cause they chose correctly". This is what sparks more women-women relationships cause they feel "accepted and on the same page as whoever they hang with" thus they feel validated that "they are right". Most men don't entertain partners caring that much about what others think. Once again, it comes back to if he LIKES what he's getting or feeling. Other times, he may feel a sense of obligation or loyalty to someone and that locks-in his choices and reasoning. OF COURSE there are anomalies and outliers for both sexes but if you ever just sat back and watched, you will DEFINITELY see lots of these patterns. So yesterday, I'm on twitter joking about male aloofness. I end up on this gem-filled comedic rant about the differences between men and women that I used to tell onstage. I had the epiphany that one of the reasons I prefer men as friends and partners is because despite their aloofness and lack of empathy, they are generally more productive and solution-oriented than women. I joked about how women have a higher percentage rate of telling you a bunch of useless information that is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS OR THEIRS. In defense of women, I honestly think you learn lots of useful life and domestic skills from them. However, socially women can be bigger emotional terrorists than men because they constantly need to compare themselves to others to convince themselves they have a good life. Men don't need that. If his basic needs are met and he is comfortable with his bank account he is a happy camper. Usually when he isn't a happy camper, it's because he is not comfortable with his bank account. Men are that simple! Simple is refreshing! As Communications major, I know that the lack of communication or a misread in communication can tear apart the strongest bonds AND entire communities. So YOUR SUNDAY TAKEAWAY THIS WEEK is to get your Henry David Thoreau on and "SIMPLIFY". Life really is simple. We are born, we meet people and learn who they are and what they mean to us. We accomplish things as we journey through this life and it's up to us to decide or care if we want those accomplishments to be noteworthy within the next 100 years or not. Then eventually, after we have made the decision to make certain accomplishments and contributions, we chose a companion or we decide to be a solo adventurer through this journey called life. When our contract on this realm is complete with our creator, we either journey back to our manufacturer and enjoy streets paved with gold, never-ending dancing and singing, also reuniting with loved ones we met on this earthly realm; OR we journey to the destruction incinerator. Think about it things that have zero human abilities or qualities eventually get destroyed and discarded OR they get preserved and restored throughout time. Here's something to think about MOUNT RUSHMORE has survived and been restored to last/survive the next 100 years and has already OUTLIVED the majority of humans alive RIGHT NOW! However, there is NOT A TRACE of 8-track or CASSETTE PLAYERS ON EARTH! 8-track and cassette players was an invention that was used and enjoyed during THIS LIFETIME by people alive today and what happened to all those devices? Mostly, they got destroyed and discontinued. They all have been replaced with digital technology and will not be remembered or recognized in 100 years unless Hollywood wants to make a movie about them. We all got choices in life and once we decide what we want and commit to it, we can make it happen! That's it - decide, commit, make it happen! See Simple:) If we believe in an afterlife, we make choices during life to be put in a position to enjoy it. If we don't believe in an after life, we don't make the choices to be in position to enjoy an afterlife and accept that deletion and decay is our fate just like an 8-track or cassette player. YOU are more powerful than you think. No matter what's going on around you, everyone else is busy trying to decide if they want to be a Mount Rushmore or an 8track/Cassette Player when they reach the end of their life. So take charge of your life with bold decision making rooted in joy! Remember to decide, commit and make it happen! When all else fails, KEEP IT SIMPLE and make sure you laugh today:) Love, -Your favorite behavioral analyst comedian and happiness cheerleader, AaronaTheVirgo To See Comedy, Musical or MORE creative content from me, Subscribe To My YouTube Channel @aaronacreates To Follow Me On TikTok and Twitter/X, go to @aaronacreates If You Like This Blog, Join my community by subscribing and also check out eStore -aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com |
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AuthorComedian/YouTuber/Podcaster/Songwriter/Author AaronaTheVirgo sharing her humor and her life experiences. This blog is your weekly, witty Sunday inspiration to stay sane in this crazy world... and if you dare, laugh a little! ArchivesCategories |
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