Ep. 1 -Let's Talk About Sex And The Sexes

Now where were we? Ah yes, yesterday while I was on Twitter, now called X, I had an epiphany about my own relationships with men and women. Before comedy, I was always slow to communicate or interact with new people. I'm still that way most of time but now I act on impulse when I get a good vibe much faster than my earlier years.


I have two sisters. One has been my arch-enemy since I was 6 months old according to my baby book. When my mom wrote my first word, she made very detailed and excited notes that I began speaking with whole phrases. She wrote I never spoke "baby talk". My very first sentence was "Where's Aaron?". Aaron is my father's name.


At 6 months old, I had already began engaging with people based upon their behavioral patterns. At 6 months old, I knew "Aaron" was a guy that was around and obviously knew my mother and I. However, for some reason I didn't identify him as father/dad/da-da/daddy. As I got to know more father more, that's when my awareness grew that he was my biological dad. I never identified him as my caretaker though. It took years of observing him to know and understand my dad was 27-year old father who worked hard and desired a busy social life. He was often absent due to either his work or his social activities. That pattern went on for 2 decades. It was always a special event or reason for my dad to just be hanging out with us if he wasn't helping with homework or oversee us cleaning around the house. 


At 6 months, I also recognized my older sister as mean and bothersome. Someone who rarely genuinely spoke to edify someone. She complained a lot and my father's nickname for her was "Grouchy". He gave us all nicknames from various cartoons. She definitely could have been Grouchy Smurf's twin. These early beginnings of me understanding and observing my family dynamic, led me to be very curious and observant of people in the world at large. 


I always thought it was weird I didn't say "where's daddy?" and made a conscious choice to use his government name (lol). Now that I'm a fully grown adult and know more of my family's business, I realized I called a spade a spade at 6 months. I'm ahead of my time for sure. My second sentence was "Shut Up Tracy". Tracy is the middle name of my older sister. We were informal in my house. Everyone was called by either their middle name or nickname. We rarely ever called each other by our first names - except me calling my dad, Aaron.


The girls I ended up hanging out with had the exact same interests as me which is pretty natural for most people. In my early life basketball was a huge interest. When I hung out with girls, sometimes we talked stats about players but MOSTLY we talked about our favorite NBA players because we thought they were cute - the exception was Michael Jordan. He was everyone's favorite player because at the time he was the best player the NBA had ever seen and played for our home team.


When I hung out with boys, it was usually because we laughed frequently or had some time of good time previously - i.e. We played basketball or running bases together and it was fun, competitive and had lots of funny banter. With the boys, we frequently talked about the stats, the plays, whose playing style they most wanted to emulate and NO TALK about which girls they thought were cute until MUCH LATER.


These early years showed me something I didn't know would be an important trend when we were all adults. It showed me the difference in how men and women mentally sort what's important. When I think back on many conversations I've held with males and females throughout life and conversations I've observed in passing. Men are really wired to "get to the point" in mostly all areas of their lives EXCEPT their feelings.


It just takes men longer to really process what they want and WHY they want it. Women on the other hand lead with their feelings. Even if she is a cold and calculating woman, there is an ocean of emotion laying dormant under that facade that she clings tightly to and responds to her environment. Women being perceived as the softer species are welcomed and allowed to respond to life from a place of emotion. Men were not previously encouraged to do so and they got the memo early that life still has to go on outside of what they feel. It leads them to put more time and energy into being productive and goal-oriented.


If you catch a guy early enough in his dating experience, he could simply want something just because it feels good and they said yes. He didn't really put much thought into WHY he wanted it outside of the fact that something made him feel good and he avoided rejection (their worse fear). So a guy is like to stay on one path because it's comfortable and it fulfills a need. He's good after that.


Women are not so clear cut in dating. I believe all people crave validation in their dating life, yet I think women spend more time focused on "being right" in the choices they make. Women do this because they wanna go back to some woman group or maybe just their mom, aunts and other relatives and feel like they have "a good life cause they chose correctly". This is what sparks more women-women relationships cause they feel "accepted and on the same page as whoever they hang with" thus they feel validated that "they are right".


Most men don't entertain partners caring that much about what others think. Once again, it comes back to if he LIKES what he's getting or feeling. Other times, he may feel a sense of obligation or loyalty to someone and that locks-in his choices and reasoning. OF COURSE there are anomalies and outliers for both sexes but if you ever just sat back and watched, you will DEFINITELY see lots of these patterns.


So yesterday, I'm on twitter joking about male aloofness. I end up on this gem-filled comedic rant about the differences between men and women that I used to tell onstage. I had the epiphany that one of the reasons I prefer men as friends and partners is because despite their aloofness and lack of empathy, they are generally more productive and solution-oriented than women.


I joked about how women have a higher percentage rate of telling you a bunch of useless information that is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS OR THEIRS. In defense of women, I honestly think you learn lots of useful life and domestic skills from them. However, socially women can be bigger emotional terrorists than men because they constantly need to compare themselves to others to convince themselves they have a good life.


Men don't need that. If his basic needs are met and he is comfortable with his bank account he is a happy camper. Usually when he isn't a happy camper, it's because he is not comfortable with his bank account. Men are that simple! Simple is refreshing!


As Communications major, I know that the lack of communication or a misread in communication can tear apart the strongest bonds AND entire communities.


So YOUR SUNDAY TAKEAWAY THIS WEEK is to get your Henry David Thoreau on and "SIMPLIFY".


Life really is simple. We are born, we meet people and learn who they are and what they mean to us.
We accomplish things as we journey through this life and it's up to us to decide or care if we want those accomplishments to be noteworthy within the next 100 years or not. Then eventually, after we have made the decision to make certain accomplishments and contributions, we chose a companion or we decide to be a solo adventurer through this journey called life. When our contract on this realm is complete with our creator, we either journey back to our manufacturer and enjoy streets paved with gold, never-ending dancing and singing, also reuniting with loved ones we met on this earthly realm; OR we journey to the destruction incinerator.


Think about it things that have zero human abilities or qualities eventually get destroyed and discarded OR they get preserved and restored throughout time.


Here's something to think about MOUNT RUSHMORE has survived and been restored to last/survive the next 100 years and has already OUTLIVED the majority of humans alive RIGHT NOW! However, there is NOT A TRACE of 8-track or CASSETTE PLAYERS ON EARTH!


8-track and cassette players was an invention that was used and enjoyed during THIS LIFETIME by people alive today and what happened to all those devices? Mostly, they got destroyed and discontinued. They all have been replaced with digital technology and will not be remembered or recognized in 100 years unless Hollywood wants to make a movie about them. We all got choices in life and once we decide what we want and commit to it, we can make it happen!
That's it - decide, commit, make it happen! See Simple:) 


If we believe in an afterlife, we make choices during life to be put in a position to enjoy it. If we don't believe in an after life, we don't make the choices to be in position to enjoy an afterlife and accept that deletion and decay is our fate just like an 8-track or cassette player.


YOU are more powerful than you think. No matter what's going on around you, everyone else is busy trying to decide if they want to be a Mount Rushmore or an 8track/Cassette Player when they reach the end of their life. So take charge of your life with bold decision making rooted in joy!
Remember to decide, commit and make it happen!
When all else fails, KEEP IT SIMPLE and make sure you laugh today:)


Love,
-Your favorite behavioral analyst comedian and happiness cheerleader,
AaronaTheVirgo
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