Welcome Back to the conversation. Today is Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to you if you are reading this and you are a father. Also, if you are reading this and you are not a father, Happy Father's Day to the guy who helped you get here! Last week, I spoke on birth charts, birth times and purpose. Picking back up from that vibe, I wanna share some wisdom from one of the humans who created me.
My dad is a very intelligent man. He's college educated and street smart. My father probably NEVER KNEW it until about 5 or 6 years ago but he's part of the reason I spent a good 20 years of my life "looking for a 2Pac type". Part of what has kept me "sane in this crazy world" is the fact that both my parents were powerful opposites. It gave me balance. It gave me the opportunity to see life from the other side because my parents had two different upbringings - one Christian and the other atheist. The blessing of having two parents in my life was getting the opportunity to observe them and learn from them. They clashed together as a couple but the heartbreaking part about both of them was their stubbornness. If they ever listened to each other during their arguments (instead of fighting for their point of view) they would've discovered THEY WERE BOTH RIGHT (about a lot of things). My mom was right and had her reasons that made sense AND my dad was also right and made sense. Unfortunately for them, being right was not enough. A lesson I learned outside of my home when I became an adult is "It's better to be happy than right" so being understanding and responding with a loving heart can cause the greatest transformations in relationships. From observing my father, I was able to glean a few helpful life hacks because my father thrives on logic. It's a trait of his I inherited and also thrive on (hence my comedy career lol). Gem #1 I learned from my dad and still use to this day is his saying "I'm a realist not an idealist". Abraham Hicks would not be pleased to hear this statement BUT reality keeps you tapped in on what's happening now. Once you got a clear grasp on "what's happening now" THEN you can dream, visualize and hypothesize what would be better or the least resistant path. "I'm a realist and not an idealist" is a very helpful and healthy way to do business and confront tough conversations. Cause you can kid yourself into thinking things are another way but if you want to be effective it's best to see it for what it really is and decide from there if you wanna ignore it, transform it or reject it. In my early comedy days, I dealt with my share of janky promoters. Not getting paid the amount you agreed to do the show for is A VERY REAL SCENARIO. What WOULD BE IDEAL is if he overpaid you ( gave you the agreed upon amount and threw in a bonus) but trying to avoid you because he doesn't have your money is the reality. Realityis accepting whatever is happening and firmly deciding "what am I gonna do about this?" Reality is happening. You can decide to take a break from it or even decide the severity of it -cause although something IS REAL maybe is NOT that serious. Either way, when you can accept things for what they are and just say COOL and really mean it. You can handle practically anything challenge life throws at you. As a comedian, we always have to make people laugh - even if WE are in pain. It's just apart of the job description and when we get booked on shows, it's what we get paid for. Confronting reality no matter how harsh it is and deciding to laugh or have joy anyway is the most powerful way to take your sanity back in a crazy world! Gem #2 from my father is "I work too hard to have things that don't work". Both my parents worked multiple jobs. My mother was a DYI HGTV type of chick. My father was a buy it new, keep it nice and replace it with something new if it breaks type. From his perspective, I'm an earner and I go out and earn so that when something breaks, I get it fixed or get a new one. I was child (not sure what age) and some appliance broke. Then our kitchen faucet began having water pressure problems. I just remember one day my dad getting super annoyed because to him it was completely unacceptable. He didn't care WHY it broke or whether because over time things wear down. Bottom line - it didn't work and was supposed to be working, then I heard him say it for the first time "I work too hard to have things that don't work". My father will proudly tell you, he buys a new car every 6 years. The way he sees it is cars are meant to be driven and the reality is, as you drive it, it wears down and needs maintenance. In the early days of the car, its warranty covered or cheap. Then over time repairs are expensive and the money you spend on that, you could've traded for something else that works. That's his perspective so that's how he moves. I had no opinion towards it before age 17 because I didn't start working before then. I remember a year after I moved out my parents house to go to college and went to a football game. My former best friend's mom wanted to sit up close and see the marching band's performance. My best friend and I were just excited to be at the game cause the Circle City Classic games are FUN! Her mom pulled out her debit (or credit) card and said "I make good money and I pay good money to have a good time. Let's move closer". Right then and there, my dad's famous "I work too hard to have things that don't work" popped in my head and I realized both statements were the same! Both statements spoke about money being a tool and a gateway for "a better experience than what I'm having". What both statements (first introduced to me by my dad) also reminds me is life is about enjoyment just as much as it is about "obligation". Sure we work to pay bills and afford a roof over our heads but putting effort into obtaining money (however you get) would be in vain if you cannot purchase enjoyment or tools to give you a more pleasant experience than what you are having. If you make ANY money, you should always put some of it to use for your enjoyment. Now I'm sure Abraham Hicks WOULD like this part lol. The enjoyment of having money and utilizing it, attracts more of it. That's really the secret sauce of it. I've been SUPER BROKE and I've been pleasantly comfortable with money. I know firsthand that the better I feel about whatever I have (even if it's $5.00) the easier it is to acquire more AND make it stretch. "Pay yourself first" from "The Richest Man In Babylon" also taught me this and speaks to knowing you are worthy of enjoying the money you already have. So to stay sane in the materialistic stunt culture we have today, knowing simply that "you work too hard not to have things that don't work" is motivation and justification enough to spend money how you see fit cause it's your life anyways. You can't take none of it with you and if you are not getting what YOU WANT then what's the point? I'm NOT talking about being a complete squanderer. I do believe in generational wealth. Can we admit that the DECISION and the DESIRE to accumulate and possess generational wealth ALSO comes from the simple idea "I work too hard to not have things that don't work". Lol, now YOU PUT whatever parenthetical things YOU WANT cause you are in the driver seat! For example, my best friend's mom wanted "Closer Seats at a Popular Football Series" in her parenthetical. Generational wealth is just ANOTHER THING that can be acquired with money but WORTHINESS is the attitude that justifies WHY we desire/pursue the parenthetical things. You are a child of God and you are worthy. I cannot stress this enough. Last Gem from my dad, "This life moves fast Ronnie. Just yesterday I was 35." My dad was 57 and I was 30 when he told me that. I had recently gotten married on Valentine's Day. I eloped in Vegas (I highly recommend that by the way... live a little folks!) and both my family and his family felt bummed that we didn't have a wedding and let them share in our joy. My mom specifically put extra pressure on me to have a ceremony because that's the dream of every mom who has 3 daughters. Wedding Planning was one of her side hustles and she was sick with cancer so it made her sad that missed the boat seeing two daughters get married. My younger sister eloped at City Hall when she was pregnant with my niece. My older brother and older sister had not "found the one" yet. Since my mom, other female relatives I loved and my ex-husband's family wanted to see a wedding we rented out a Hilton to renew our vows and have a reception. A couple days before the reception, I was talking to my dad on our front lawn and he dropped the "life moves fast" bars. I vividly remember that day because as he was speaking to me, I considered in that moment that I was watching him "grow up" as he and my mother "watched me grow up". Life is such an interesting event that requires and even demands our participation. Even if we are just observing, essentially we are witnessing evolutions all around us. When I turned 35, the first thing I thought was "Wow that came really fast. Dad was right." Now it's the same thing at 40 and it just keeps going and going like the Energizer bunny until God says it's time to go. When you really ponder on how fast it goes, you began shifting priorities. You began carving boundaries on what is worth your time and what is not. You begin making sure you don't leave anything unsaid and making sure you cherish the moment MORE. I want to elaborate on "worthiness and cherishing the moment more". When you do this intentionally, you actually can become both "a realist and idealist". When you clearly grasp things for what they are, accept it and make adjustments from there, you can spend more time enjoying all the wonderful things you love. Cause remember being right is cool but it's better to be happy! Life moves too fast for you not to be happy or cherishing the time you do have. So get to it be "a realist and an idealist". I told ya'll my parents showed me the power of opposites. A balanced perspective ain't the only thing that can come from the power of opposites - gravity and motion come from it too! Trust the science! Love, Your Favorite Behavioral Analyst Comedian and Happiness Cheerleader AaronaTheVirgo To See More of my Comedy, Musical Comedy or Content - Check out My YouTube Channel @aaronacreates and if you like this blog, join my mailing list or support my eStore aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com
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AuthorComedian/YouTuber/Podcaster/Songwriter/Author AaronaTheVirgo sharing her humor and her life experiences. This blog is your weekly, witty Sunday inspiration to stay sane in this crazy world... and if you dare, laugh a little! Archives
October 2024
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