Ep. 6 - Your Heart Is Your Truest Best Friend

Welcome Back To The Conversation. When I was a little girl, I often heard the saying "marches to the beat of their own drummer". It was an innocent and powerful saying to me. When I heard this saying as a child, it had zero negative connotations. When I was a child, "marching to the beat of their own drummer" implied a person was cool, unique and completely unbothered by the status quo. When I was a child, we were taught everyone has their own fingerprint and it makes us unique. Sidebar, I just had a memory of something totally unjust someone did to me to obtain my fingerprints (head-smack emoji) but nobody cares about that lol... Let's continue. As an adult, this saying has lost its power and its magic due to various stereotypes and fear-based behaviors of adults.


I'm not sure at what age it happens but at some point humans go from being innocent, hopeful sponges to anxious, prejudiced defensive players. We can all acknowledge that trauma plays a role in shaping a person's mind. However, I feel that societal programming has become heavier and commonplace since the advent of television and film. I feel that the internet intensifies the work that television and film has contributed to human programming. Long gone are the days that some weirdo King or Aristocrat making decrees and the underclass just falls in line or face the consequences. Now the decrees are more subtle - and even worse widespread amongst anyone capable of talking. When the popular songs of the day tell you "F*ck N*ggas, GET MONEY. F*ck B*tches, GET MONEY" you get prompted to focus on materialism more than being a good person or obtaining individuality.


When I took improv classes at Second City Chicago, it was the first time I had an a-ha moment of "adulthood, decency and acceptance". It was 2006 and I had just made the decision to become a standup comedian. Coming from an academia background, it seemed smarter to me to invest in classes to improve my comedic skills. I didn't even question it. It felt natural and made lots of sense to me to let people who make their living from what I wanted to do professionally school me on how to be better and sharper. I STILL remember that first day of class where the teacher said, "The real goal of Improv is to PLAY and play at the top of your intelligence". I instantly thought of all the "funny" movies, tv shows and comedians I had ever seen in my life. I analyzed what was so funny about them to me. After going down my list of "funny people" AND my list of "funny scenes in movies/SNL or In Living Color sketches", I realized she was EXACTLY RIGHT. My perception of comedy was instantly changed that day. My perception of adulthood was also changed that day.


As the class progressed, we took turns doing what it considered in the Improv World beginner exercises. The instructor kept encouraging all of us to PLAY and keep playing through the exercises. When shy people refused to follow the instructions of the exercise, the instructor stopped the class. She said, "Without using your imagination, no scene is ever gonna go anywhere. It will never improve. You are not ALLOWING yourself to play cause for the last "however many years" people told you to act serious or grow up. Remember when you were a kid and you just played because it was pleasant? That's the real magic of improv. When you are improving this IS NOT the time to be serious. Take all of your judgements and trash them. Make a choice and stick to it. This is all made up. It's imaginary so it's necessary to use your imagination. Just remember to play to the top of your intelligence -anyone can go vulgar that takes no creativity. AND BOOM -I was changed!


I realized that day I was one of those people in the shy bubble walking on the eggshells of human expectation.
I was not as shy as the people who backed away from the exercises but I was definitely on the shy spectrum. My choices were "safe choices". I didn't attempt anything bold and there were people there THAT DID! I continued taking the classes. Second City at the time had a suggested curriculum that if completed, made you an "professional comedy improv actor/actress". They also had a writing curriculum that would deem you "a professional comedy writer" if completed. I wanted to be well-rounded so I continued towards the advanced levels of improv acting and took a musical comedy class. I ALWAYS wanted to be like Eddie Murphy who rose to fame from SNL. I grew up with the show and enjoyed the professional of MANY of its cast members. Second City Chicago was the "SNL breeding ground" and I was just proud of myself that I went after it and took my dreams seriously. Keep in mind EVERYONE in my life at the time was not in favor me doing this. I did it ANYWAY cause it's my life and can only be lived by me. God gave me this life and I get to choose what I want to do with it. 18 years later from making the decision to pursue comedy and be a Second City Alum, I have NO REGRETS outside of having the courage to tell people to "F*ck Off" more often.


Somewhere around level D (classes in alphabetical order with level A being 1st level beginner) I began having instructors that pushed my Level A instructor's speech farther. I was having fun and it helped my standup comedy develop. I ended up taking classes concurrently at Annoyance Theater cause they had an amazing reputation in Chicago. I had this instructor who hated pointless improv. She also stressed "playing to the top of your intelligence" but she called it "fart and run" humor! "Nobody likes to be farted on. If you are gonna be gross let it serve a purpose. Don't just drop fart and potty humor for shock value. It's lame. Use your imagination and explore the fart". She continued, "If you gonna bring farts into your improv scene, spend more time analyzing it. Hmm smells like berries and pizza". The next thing you know, we are playing this exercise where we are explaining our farts. I'm not gonna lie it got really funny. Not because we were letting THE FART be the punchline but because you had a room of people really pretending that a fart was with philosophical conversation. The longer we went, the more qualities the fart had. It went as far as that "infamous fart" being the catalyst to a murder, a street fight and a divorce. All of which, had a much richer storyline than just some idiot wanting attention in a room of semi-strangers and decided to bring in fart dialogue out of immaturity.
That day was just as life changing as the first day in class and has helped me leaps and bounds in my professional comedy career.


I've been selected in competitions. I've been passed over in some also and it inspired me to dig deeper. I had experiences as a casting assistant which allowed me to really spot special skills in talented people. I also had the opportunity to cast for my own projects using the skillset I learned at Second City, Annoyance Theater and later iOwest. Why am I telling you this? Because the day I made the decision that it is "OKAY TO LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP, OBSERVE LIFE WHILE ENJOYING LIFE" was the day my entire life shifted to create some of my happiest memories ever! The day I made that decision and stuck to it, got me through some of the most heartbreaking and embarrassing moments of my life.


Having the knowledge AND the life experience to know "It's OKAY to lighten up, observe and enjoy life" helps me and can help anyone to stay sane in a crazy world. So that is your take away for this week! Regardless of "what people say, what the new trend is, who is going to war with who, who is in office but you know damn well they are a schmuck and a criminal, who wants to steal your lover, who cheated on you, who lied on, who doesn't like, who wants to stop you, who wants to embarrass, who walked out of your life, who doesn't love you", life WILL STILL GO ON and God loves you and is always available to you when you need him. It's a fact that even nuclear bombs cannot STOP life from moving on. Sure, they are PURE DEVASTATION to the places they hit. The other places still continued on as if it never happened. Even the places they hit - heals eventually.


I'll leave ya'll with a conversation I had with a co-worker this week that I turned into a tweet. She told me she believes in aliens. I asked her what did she mean by "she believes in aliens". She clarified that she thinks they exist cause the universe is so vast we can't possibly be the only species in it. I told her I agree with her but I don't believe in aliens in the way it gets presented to us. She looked confused so I continued. "There are millions of living species RIGHT HERE ON EARTH and they just mind their business. Humans are still the most dominant. Sure, there is probably other life forms elsewhere but WHO SAYS they are like humans? Where are the facts that there is life forms on other planets moving around, building things and using deductive reasoning like people? Nobody has ever been to those other planets, so how do they really know?


The Earth is OLD AS HELL. It's been around 5,000 years. IF there is other life on other planets and they are chaotic or 'want to conquer humans' why hasn't it happened yet? A tree is a life form. Trees are alive, fish are alive, jellyfish are alive and can be very deadly if you bother them and don't get medical help fast enough. Look at what happened to Steve Irwin, the nature guy. Who is to say the aliens from other planets aren't like jellyfish? They are alive and can kill you but they not planning world domination. They are just living on Pluto or Jupiter or whatever they are."


She got silent and really thought about it. Not only that, our conversation drew in 3-4 other people who were standing around us and overheard us. It made them think about too. Then I said, "The whole narrative that aliens from another planet is out to destroy us is a narrative from Hollywood movies to entertain and distract us. There is no real proof of ANY sophisticated intelligence on other planets. There is also NO PROOF that there are life forms on other planets that are OBSESSED with humans and making us their slaves. Think of all the animals that are on Earth, are they trying to harm us and take over the planet? Think of all the plants and amoebas that are down here on Earth are they trying to overthrow humans? That entire thought process is a HUMAN thought process.
It isn't the thought process of a fish, unless you are watching 'JAWS The Movie'.


Humans were created to be dominant. We were created "to be fruitful and multiply, take over the land and subdue it" just as God instructed Adam and Eve in Genesis. Human insecurity creates these fantasies of 'losing their dominance'. If there were no sci-fi Hollywood movies created about other planets, people wouldn't fear other planets. We have no real motive to do so. So people waste so much time and energy thinking about aliens when they don't put that much thought into all the non-human life here on Earth. What if life on Mars, Mercury, Venus etc are just forms of trees and fish? Then what? So, if there IS life on other planets - so what?"


I was NOT aiming for it but it was a real mic drop moment. I am very serious about my love for my Heavenly Father, The Lord God our creator. However, I'm not the type of person to force people to believe in him and his existence. People are gifted free-will when they come here. It isn't my job to control them. I only have an obligation as a Christian to educate people and make the knowledge of the gospel available to them. I've lived long enough to know you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. I've also been alive long enough to know and witness there is no other storyline or logic that truly disputes the bible because of the many historical artifacts that exist today. Have people done the "people thing" and manipulated certain facts and things? Probably so!


Insecurity and the need for control is a human trait. Dogs are not roaming this planet giving a shit about aliens! They are not human but dogs are very intelligent and observant. They just live their little dog lives and interact with people based on how they are treated. The same with cats which is why we deem them "safe" to have as pets. People having their free-will and dominance make ANYTHING they chose their pets. Some people have pet snakes!


My suggestion to everyone is don't make life HARDER than what it already is worrying about things outside of your control. Focus more on following your heart. Your heart is your truest best friend and will always lead you to the people, places and things that suit you and your personality. You were not created by God to come here to Earth and be miserable - that was never God's intention. Once again, that's people "people-ling or doing the people thing" cause they don't feel significant or in control of their own lives. Your Job is YOU! You have this precious life you are living and the ability to whatever you want with it. Why not dodge the people doing the people-thing cause they are hardwired for negativity? Why not believe that all is really well despite having good days and bad days? There is more proof that everything is fine and you are where you are meant to be for now than there is proof of surly life forms on Saturn that have decided Earth Humans are their enemy. Smile, you are loved. Have a great week!
Love,
Your Favorite Behavioral Analyst Comedian and Happiness Cheerleader
AaronaTheVirgo
To See MORE of my Comedy, Musical Comedy and Content- Check out My YouTube Channel @aaronacreates
If you enjoy this blog, subscribe to it and check out my eStore https://aaronathevirgoshop.etsy.com